I like TIF, but I’m not an expert. Well, maybe I’m an expert. Ok, I’m an expert.

Since TIF is only 83 days away I’m going to start sharing some TIF advice. And you’re welcome.

It’s either that or write about how Runapon has so much inner and outer beauty that sometimes I can’t even look at her. It’s like, “OMG, I’m blinded by inner beauty!” And then a second later, “OMG, too much outer beauty!”

Anyway, when planning the perfect TIF schedule pay attention to the shows with names like “Osaka Something Something Party” and “Chubby Idol Jamboree”
Most of the stages at TIF are set up to allow fans to enter and exit whenever they want. This makes it easy to follow your favorite groups and watch predia from the front row–if that’s your thing. However, there are a few “special” stages that are treated differently and in order to watch you’ll have to actually get in a queue and at the conclusion of the performance leave the stage. [Stephanie Tanner: How rude!] This is easier explained by the timetable:
If you want to watch one of the shows that are highlighted in yellow (like TIF 2014 x Idol Jam Z Special Stage), you would have to arrive at the stage prior to the start and get in a queue that is specifically set up for that show. For some of these, pretty much anything with Idoling, you would have to arrive 30-60 minutes early. Total waste of time obviously, but this unintentionally happened to me last year because I wanted to see a group called READY TO KISS. My plan was to arrive at Enjoy Stadium early in order to check out TIF x Idol Jam Z since Street-sei was participating and by arriving super early I’d eventually have front row for READY TO KISS. Unfortunately, when I arrived there was a massive queue outside the venue and getting in was impossible. And yes, I tried to force my way through, but it didn’t work! So I ended up waiting an hour for the Idol Jam show to finish and for TIF staff to clear out the venue before it was reopened to resume normal performances. If none of this makes sense, just nod and pretend it does. The main problem with these special stages is having to leave at the conclusion of the show, which prevents you from watching the group performing immediately afterward. If both shows involve your favorite group, you’d have to choose one or the other, or watch the first, leave as fast as possible by pushing people out of your way, and then re-enter the stage at which point you would be in the back row–unless you force your way to the front, which trust me, is much harder than it seems. After you’ve pushed 10 people, you’re going to get pretty tired. After pushing 20 people, you’ll probably collapse and be forced to take a nap right then and there. So pay attention to these shows when planning your schedule!

Also try to organize your TIF schedule so it doesn’t look like this:

And everyone, please stop talking about Secret Court!!
It’s because everyone keeps talking about Secret Court for no reason whatsoever that Secret Court now looks like this
instead of this If we could just stop talking about Secret Court, Secret Court would be like, *rumble rumble–crashes through the roof of Fuji Studio* “It’s me Secret Court! I’m baaack. And don’t worry it’s ok to talk about me now!” 

So everyone, please stop talking about Secret Court, ok?

Hey, let’s start a global campaign to bring back Secret Court!
To the twitterverse! They must hear our demands: the Return of Secret Court, a 100% increase in bikini stages, and um… free ice cream for everyone!  [I thought we weren’t supposed to talk about Secret Court] Oh yeah, nevermind.

Can we talk about IDOL NATION now?
IDOL NATION is on August 3, the day after TIF, and SUPER☆GiRLS, Doll☆Elements, Idoling, and World Standard will be performing. Although I’m surprised Doll☆Elements is in the lineup, this means I’m halfway towards my goal of seeing them 10 times this trip. That’s so GEM!™ Speaking of GEM, hopefully they’ll be there also, although they already have something booked that day. I’ll enter the ticket lottery tomorrow, but I grow bored of this topic, next!

Something something Anime Expo
Anime Expo (AX) is a yearly anime/ Japanese pop culture convention in Los Angeles that usually features at least one J-pop group or solo artist. In the past six years, this has included groups like Morning Musume, AKB48, Kalafina, and soloist Erina Mano. This year Momoiro Clover Z will be performing *golf clap*. I don’t actively follow them, but I was briefly a fan in 2010 when Momoka joined and Akari was still in the group. That’s when I discovered PASSPO and it was literally game over for every other idol group for two years. The concert should be fun though, and I’ll purchase my AX ticket this week. Well, that’s about it… wait a sec, OMG I just had a crazy idea!

Doll☆Elements should perform at Secret Court!

This may or may not be about Tokyo Idol Festival 2012

You may have noticed I wrote “Tokyo Idol Festival 2012” instead of the cooler and more accurate “Tokyo Reira Festival”. That is a subtle hint that this article is a serious TIF resource. For once in my life, no more joking around. Everyone is sick of it!

TIF Stage Layout:

Secret Court and TIF double rainbow

Hot Stage, Doll Factory, Smile Garden… Secret Court… Fantastic Theater… wait a sec… Secret “what”? Oh my God, I think I stumbled across something I absolutely was not supposed to find out about.

Secret Court, where all of your most secret idol dreams come true!

With that out of the way, let’s talk TIF schedules. *sips a huge jug of chamomile tea*

Twenty percent of the fun of Tokyo Idol Festival is creating your personalized schedule.

Day One
Day Two

TIF weather

If Odaiba is as hot as I think it may be, then I’ll probably scrap large portions of the above schedules, specifically any of the outdoor stages between 12 and 4PM. Of course there would be a few exceptions, like predia on Day 1 @ Sky stage. If Reiko has to be out in the sun, then I’ll suffer along with her. And if the hottest group at TIF  is performing during the hottest part of the day,  the chance that they will wear less clothing than normal increases by a million percent.

Awesome, PASSPO is finally opening for predia! Just as it was prophesied by that one guy a hundred years ago. Balance has been restored to the something something.

TIF Strategy 

There is a surprisingly large amount of strategy that is involved in planning the ultimate TIF schedule. You can’t just arrive at TIF and decide: I’ll watch ‘Oh Campee’ for ten hours. And then maybe casually stroll to the main stage and check out ‘SUPER GiRLS’. For scientific purposes of course. I have to verify if they really are “super”. And that they are “girls”.

When planning which stage to go to you have to keep in mind the location of the stage and it’s proximity to the next stage you want to visit, and the popularity of the groups to determine when you should arrive for optimum seating (which may require leaving one performance early). If you look at the map, for a few of the stages like the Secret Court (Please don’t talk about Secret Court) and Sky Stage, they are both on the Fuji TV roof, so unless that map isn’t to scale, all you have to do is turn around and you are at the other stage. “Hey look it’s Fudanjuku” *turns around* “Hey look it’s… I have no idea” *turns around* “It’s Fudanjuku!” *turns around* “Still don’t know who that is”. But if you want to go from either of the roof stages to the Hot Stage at Zepp DiverCity, that would take the longest time out of any of the stage combinations. I’m guessing it would take at least 20 minutes, because you have to go down the elevator to exit the building (which the TIF website actually warns may be congested) before heading to Zepp and the main stage. And the entire time you would have to avoid nomadic hordes of wotas who are peacefully grazing on the grass. But once they see you they would like nothing better than to attack and steal your glowsticks.

Another thing to keep in mind are “Chain combos”. And that is the only nerdy video game reference that will ever come out of this blog. Ideally you’d want to choose a stage where you can link one group you’re interested in with another, and then another, and so on. For instance during Day 1 at Secret Court (really gotta stop talking about this stage) there is a 3 chain combo of Party Rockets, AeLL, and Up Up Girls. Individually I wouldn’t want to head to this stage, but their appeal goes up a lot when they are in succession. The best chain combo might be “Afilia Saga East -> LinQ -> 1st gen Idoling -> Palet.

“Another thing to keep in mind” Part II
Outside of your personal top-tier groups, there are groups that are lower priority, but you’d still want to see at least once. For me, these are groups like the already mentioned Party Rockets, AeLL, and Up Up Girls… and also Cheeky Parade (unless they are acting too cheeky), Palet, EbiChu, Risa Yoshiki, Dorothy Little Happy (unless they are acting too Dorothy-y), Station, Tokyo Girl’s Style, and CQC’s. If you want to see one of these lower priority groups at least one time though, it can really complicate things because they are randomly mixed into the giant schedule and may result in sacrificing a performance of your top group. For example I want to see predia four times. But if you are being really stubborn about seeing certain groups, it really limits your ability to see some of the groups lower down your list. I mean is it absolutely necessary to see predia at all four of their performances, considering I’ll be seeing them again at LUMINE the Idol Fes on 8/6? Yes. Yes it is necessary. Reiko is going to be there.

TIF Trivia
Which of these is not the name of a group that will attend TIF?

A. shake
B. stir
C. splash

I wish there was an option for “All of the above”, but the answer is B.

Battle of the gravure idols. Who will be the best gravure idol in Odaiba on 8/4?

A. Yui Koike (Tomato n’ Pine)
B. Ai Shinozaki (AeLL)
C. Risa Yoshiki

The correct answer is Ayaka Komatsu of course. She’ll be at Tokyo Auto Style that day. I said best idol in Odaiba, not TIF.

Nep She☆Stars
I haven’t mentioned this group yet. And let’s keep it that way. Seriously horrible name. I have standards for how bad a group’s name can be before I have to call them out. It’s about principles.

And they are using the PASSPO and SUPER GiRLS star (☆). There should be an idol committee that overseas the use of the “☆” to prevent injustices like this.