Tokyo Idol Festival strategy officially starts… ….. .. …. Now!

21 Jul

My TIF Schedule
Day One

Day Two

I don’t want to sound like an insane person on the internet, but I think my schedule is the closest thing to perfection since “My Heart Will Go On” by Celine Dion.

The stages highlighted in black represent my preferred schedule, but because TIF has a tendency to be unpredictable due to weather, TIF incompetence, or random mob violence, it’s a good idea to have some flexibility, therefore the stages highlighted in green represent alternates. The stages highlighted in red are only necessary if for some reason I am unable to see NEO from Idoling on Day 1, in which case I’ll see them on Day 2–even though they are performing outdoors during the hottest time of the day. Doll☆Elements are also performing before them… and maybe… just maybe… they will delight the audience with a bikini performance! [Hmm, you’re right, that would be the hottest time of the day. For once you wrote something that makes sense.]

I know, the schedule is good right? [Yeah, it’s great. My favorite part is how you are seeing SUPER☆GiRLS zero times out of five! And no Street-sei either?! You are dead to me.] Ok, it’s not perfect, but at least it’s better than these schedules!

I’m kiddddding. TIF schedules aren’t a competition. 

But seriously, mine is the best. *awkward silence*

Am I embarrassed that it took me two months to memorize the name “Yururirapo”? Yes. Does that mean I’m going to retire from the internet? Of course not. If anything I’m going to unretire from the internet.

28 Jun

Yururirapo is a new-gen™ indie idol group that debuted in February. Their concept is healing and relaxation, with the name of the group derived from the Japanese word “yururi,” which means “relaxed,” and “rapo” which I think means “Beautiful girl with pure heart, soft hair, creamy skin, super-model body, and rocket-scientist brain.” When the group was introduced, each member was revealed individually via a short video on YouTube, beginning with Asami Oda on Monday, and continuing each successive day with a new member: Marina Murakami, Miyu Yanome, Sachiko Umakoshi, and Rena Shinkai. Marina and Sachiko are former members of predia and Asami is a former gravure model who was at one point *somewhat* popular, at least enough to release a solo mini-album in 2008. Technically she may still be a model, since she just released an image video a few months ago, although it seems like a one-off thing similar to Sakurako releasing a gravure video last November. Yururirapo’s motto is “Relax no sekai e yokoso,” which means something like “Welcome to the world of relaxation” or “Welcome to the relaxing world.”

Doesn’t that sounds great after a long day in the coal mines and a double shift at the hot dog factory?!–Unless you are the type who would rather wait for an idol group to welcome you to the world of destruction and anarchy? (in which case you should check out this group)

Asami has already become one of my favorite idols, so onward to the world of relaxation!

In completely unrelated news, would I call myself a TIF “expert”?
No. I prefer the term guru. Actually, that word is weird. Yeah, I’m an expert.
TIF recently updated their “Guide/FAQ.” I would suggest reading this document veeeeeery closely.

And then ignore everything you read because none of that will be enforced!

More importantly all of the iDOL Street groups will be attending TIF this year. After six weeks of updates with groups that no one knew existed, actual real-life groups were added. I mean, Puchi PASSPO and Sendai Syrup?–those groups don’t exist! TIF stop making up names!

Now please invite Yururaruriraporu!

I like TIF, but I’m not an expert. Well, maybe I’m an expert.       Ok, I’m an expert.

31 May

Since TIF is only 83 days away I’m going to start sharing some TIF advice. And you’re welcome.

It’s either that or write about how Runapon has so much inner and outer beauty that sometimes I can’t even look at her. It’s like, “OMG, I’m blinded by inner beauty!” And then a second later, “OMG, too much outer beauty!”

Anyway, when planning the perfect TIF schedule pay attention to the shows with names like “Osaka Something Something Party” and “Chubby Idol Jamboree”
Most of the stages at TIF are set up to allow fans to enter and exit whenever they want. This makes it easy to follow your favorite groups and watch predia from the front row–if that’s your thing. However, there are a few “special” stages that are treated differently and in order to watch you’ll have to actually get in a queue and at the conclusion of the performance leave the stage. [Stephanie Tanner: How rude!] This is easier explained by the timetable:

If you want to watch one of the shows that are highlighted in yellow (like TIF 2014 x Idol Jam Z Special Stage), you would have to arrive at the stage prior to the start and get in a queue that is specifically set up for that show. For some of these, pretty much anything with Idoling, you would have to arrive 30-60 minutes early. Total waste of time obviously, but this unintentionally happened to me last year because I wanted to see a group called READY TO KISS. My plan was to arrive at Enjoy Stadium early in order to check out TIF x Idol Jam Z since Street-sei was participating and by arriving super early I’d eventually have front row for READY TO KISS. Unfortunately, when I arrived there was a massive queue outside the venue and getting in was impossible. And yes, I tried to force my way through, but it didn’t work! So I ended up waiting an hour for the Idol Jam show to finish and for TIF staff to clear out the venue before it was reopened to resume normal performances. If none of this makes sense, just nod and pretend it does. The main problem with these special stages is having to leave at the conclusion of the show, which prevents you from watching the group performing immediately afterward. If both shows involve your favorite group, you’d have to choose one or the other, or watch the first, leave as fast as possible by pushing people out of your way, and then re-enter the stage at which point you would be in the back row–unless you force your way to the front, which trust me, is much harder than it seems. After you’ve pushed 10 people, you’re going to get pretty tired. After pushing 20 people, you’ll probably collapse and be forced to take a nap right then and there. So pay attention to these shows when planning your schedule!

Also try to organize your TIF schedule so it doesn’t look like this:

And everyone, please stop talking about Secret Court!!
It’s because everyone keeps talking about Secret Court for no reason whatsoever that Secret Court now looks like this
instead of this If we could just stop talking about Secret Court, Secret Court would be like, *rumble rumble–crashes through the roof of Fuji Studio* “It’s me Secret Court! I’m baaack. And don’t worry it’s ok to talk about me now!” 

So everyone, please stop talking about Secret Court, ok?

Hey, let’s start a global campaign to bring back Secret Court!
To the twitterverse! They must hear our demands: the Return of Secret Court, a 100% increase in bikini stages, and um… free ice cream for everyone!  [I thought we weren’t supposed to talk about Secret Court] Oh yeah, nevermind.

Can we talk about IDOL NATION now?
IDOL NATION is on August 3, the day after TIF, and SUPER☆GiRLS, Doll☆Elements, Idoling, and World Standard will be performing. Although I’m surprised Doll☆Elements is in the lineup, this means I’m halfway towards my goal of seeing them 10 times this trip. That’s so GEM!™ Speaking of GEM, hopefully they’ll be there also, although they already have something booked that day. I’ll enter the ticket lottery tomorrow, but I grow bored of this topic, next!

Something something Anime Expo
Anime Expo (AX) is a yearly anime/ Japanese pop culture convention in Los Angeles that usually features at least one J-pop group or solo artist. In the past six years, this has included groups like Morning Musume, AKB48, Kalafina, and soloist Erina Mano. This year Momoiro Clover Z will be performing *golf clap*. I don’t actively follow them, but I was briefly a fan in 2010 when Momoka joined and Akari was still in the group. That’s when I discovered PASSPO and it was literally game over for every other idol group for two years. The concert should be fun though, and I’ll purchase my AX ticket this week. Well, that’s about it… wait a sec, OMG I just had a crazy idea!

Doll☆Elements should perform at Secret Court!