Interidol Relationships: What are they are why are we so obsessed with them?

1 Apr

The most special and pure love is the love between two idols.

While we watch.
Natsumi: Is it cute when girls hold each other?

Rika: I don’t know. Just keep holding me. Promise that you will always hold me.
Natsumi: I promise. But what about when it’s bedtime?
Rika: Especially when it’s bedtime. That’s the most important time to hold me.

Natsumi: Is it ok for us to hold each other? Runapon might get upset.
Rika: You just keep holding me. I’ll handle Rubichanpan!

Natsumi: Your hand is so soft.
Rika: I know. I stole Runapon’s lotion.

Natsumi’s hand: We can’t keep meeting like this. Runapon is going to find out.
Rika’s hand: Stop talking and hold me.

Yukino: Hey, anyone want this?
 What’s that Bear-chan? I should change into a bikini and do a little dance?

Natsumi: No, Yukino you mustn’t. Rika will get upset.

Natsumi: No, Runa you mustn’t. Rika will get upset.

Natsumi’s hand: Hmm, what’s this? It’s so warm and soft. I think I’m going to like it here.

Natsumi: Rika, may I have this dancing dancing dance?

The End

Yukino: C’mon, who wants this? 500 yen. Anyone? Look, I’ll rub it all over my body, ok? Are you happy now. Hey, where’s everyone going? Alright, alright. 400 yen!

Is the world ready for the next iDOL Street group?

29 Mar

Last night during the Street-sei finale concert, the next iDOL Street group was unveiled. The group’s name is The World Standard (abbreviated as わ→すた or “Wa Suta”) and they will join SUPER☆GiRLS, Cheeky Parade, and GEM as the fourth group on the iDOL Street label. TWS consists of five Street-sei members: Hazuki Sakamoto (16), Miri Matsuda (15), Nanase Hirokawa (15), Ruka Mishina (14), and Ririka Kodama (14).

The above images were included in iDOL Street producer Higuchi-P’s blog and the color-coding matches their Street-sei team. They slightly messed up Haachin’s photo though, because her color should be the same as Miri, and unlike every other member, her age wasn’t shown. Unless those are also their TWS colors, in which case they assigned Haachin a non-penlight color. Unforgivable! I’m giving them the benefit of the doubt that they weren’t attempting to hide her age though, something they did with Saori in SUPER☆GiRLS, because it would be unreal if they considered 16 “old.”

Practically nothing was explained during the reveal (their producer wasn’t even present), but considering each iDOL Street group has a distinct style and image, their concept should become more clear after their debut performance at the iDOL Street Carnival on April 29.

My Thoughts
My initial reaction was total disappointment–pretty much the exact opposite of how I felt when GEM was announced. I disagree with Higuchi and his increasingly lame idol preferences, which seem to be based primarily on age, rather than talent. If you are going to be superficial at least base it on looks or cup size! Although iDOL Street makes it completely obvious which girls are being pushed, the inclusion of Miri is shocking. Choosing Miri is like playing an RPG and choosing an extreme niche character like a bard or geomancer. I don’t even know what a geomancer is, which is exactly the point. It’s like a prisoner who is about to be executed choosing a jar of mayonnaise and one of those disgusting giant pickles from Disneyland as their last meal. And don’t even get me started on Nanase and Ririka. *grumble grumble*

TWS resembles the iDOL Street spinoff Hanarichu a lot more than SUPER☆GiRLS, Cheeky Parade, and GEM. It’s going to be difficult for them to compete with their sister groups, let alone the hundreds of other established groups, like AKBN0 and Chubbiness. When Chubbiness was asked about their newest rivals The World Standard, they replied, “The World Strawberries?” When corrected, they were like, “The World Sausage?” and proceeded to lick their lips and salivate uncontrollably. 

Even though The World Soup hasn’t debuted yet, I don’t think it’s too early to judge them, because the members have been performing in Street-sei for years, and to the fans who have been paying attention, their strengths and weaknesses are obvious. The lineup lacks a definitive ace and there are two members who can’t sing. For a major label group with only five members, those are significant handicaps. I doubt idol fans in general will care too much about them, but I am curious how the i-Street fandom reacts. GEM was designed around multiple aces from a stacked talent pool, and despite their skill, it took more than a year for them to catch on. Although there are a lot of great five member groups like Doll☆Elements, 9nine, TOKYO GIRLS STYLE, Dorothy Little Happy, and HimeKyun, those groups either have a complete lineup of comparable talent (Doll☆Elements, 9nine, and TGS) or feature a true ace who can compensate for the more specialized roles of the other members (DLH and HimeKyun).

It takes a special idol name to ANGERME
The World Standard is a horrible name that makes no sense and the Japanese abbreviation of “Wa→Suta” is ever weirder. “Suta” is more commonly associated with “star,” and if anything, World Star would have been a better name, because then at least the gimmicky “わ→すた” (“me”→star) abbreviation would have made sense. This is going to be like Girls Entertainment Mixture all over again, when the GEMbers didn’t know what “Girls Entertainment Mixture” meant or how to spell it.

Or maaaybe, the name is so lame that it’s actually cool, like when a movie is so bad it becomes a classic. Like The Garbage Pail Kids Movie and Citizen Kane.

One thing I like about the group is the similar ages of all the members, since it makes the group more cohesive. This is one of the basic premises for why kids progress through school with peers of the same age, despite having completely different abilities. The previous iDOL Street groups have significant age differences, and even though they get along, the generation gaps are obvious. It becomes really visible in the 48 groups, but it exists in smaller groups as well. At the very least, they won’t be able to call the leader “obaachan” or make a big deal about whoever happens to be the youngest. 

So let’s all give The World Standard a chance! 

Because if they suck, at least GEM is still cool.

In 24 hours the Fourth Group’s lineup is going to be unveiled. Everyone, buckle up and put on your safety helmet. [But I don’t have a safety helmet!] Do you have a giant ramen bowl and string? [No, but I have a porridge bowl and rope.] How big is the porridge bowl? [About yea big] Oh, that big? Yeah, you should be fine.

27 Mar

You know you’re a huge iDOL Street fan when you’ve been writing about the non-existent “fourth group” since December 2013, and acting like it was a completely normal topic. Fourth Group is like the idol equivalent of the Fountain of Youth. Everyone is obsessed with it, but no one knows anything about it. [Which would make you the internet version of Ponce de Leon.] Ooh, I like that! Well, except for Ponce de Leon brutally murdering thousands of people and stealing their land and treasure. [I bet he stole their llamas also.] Oh, he most definitely stole their llamas. That was their treasure.

According to a helpful iDOL Street fan in Japan, Higuchi P (i-Street’s producer) will be announcing the fourth group’s lineup this Sunday during Street-sei’s final concert, which will be live streamed on niconico. Originally, the plan was to reveal the lineup next month at the iDOL Street Carnival on April 29, but with Street-sei officially ending this week, it probably made more sense to unveil the lineup immediately and allow the members who weren’t selected to mass-graduate with dignity and pride… and bitterness. In which case, it could be the most traumatic concert ever for iDOL Street fans. Since half of my favorite members are complete wildcards, this could get brutal. One of my favorites, Riko, already graduated last week, and she was the best vocalist in Street-sei. If you are going to watch, this is my advice: Prepare for the unexpected and assume that anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. [Cool, those cliches were very helpful.] And don’t forget to buckle up, because it’s going to be a hell of a ride. [You really like buckles, don’t you?] Not as much as I like helmets.

I’ve mentioned my favorite Steet-sei members before, but since these rankings are continually changing based on integral factors like kawaiiness, genkiness, cup size, talent, three sizes, and “overall” kawaiiness, I’m going to allow one final ranking to last all of eternity… or until I get bored of idols and I delete this blog.

My picks for the Fourth Group

If the above six girls are in the next group, I promise to stop complaining about pointless stuff like “Idol skirts aren’t short enough!” and “Did my oshimen recently gain a pound?” Everyone is sick of it!