In 24 hours the Fourth Group’s lineup is going to be unveiled. Everyone, buckle up and put on your safety helmet. [But I don’t have a safety helmet!] Do you have a giant ramen bowl and string? [No, but I have a porridge bowl and rope.] How big is the porridge bowl? [About yea big] Oh, that big? Yeah, you should be fine.

27 Mar

You know you’re a huge iDOL Street fan when you’ve been writing about the non-existent “fourth group” since December 2013, and acting like it was a completely normal topic. Fourth Group is like the idol equivalent of the Fountain of Youth. Everyone is obsessed with it, but no one knows anything about it. [Which would make you the internet version of Ponce de Leon.] Ooh, I like that! Well, except for Ponce de Leon brutally murdering thousands of people and stealing their land and treasure. [I bet he stole their llamas also.] Oh, he most definitely stole their llamas. That was their treasure.

According to a helpful iDOL Street fan in Japan, Higuchi P (i-Street’s producer) will be announcing the fourth group’s lineup this Sunday during Street-sei’s final concert, which will be live streamed on niconico. Originally, the plan was to reveal the lineup next month at the iDOL Street Carnival on April 29, but with Street-sei officially ending this week, it probably made more sense to unveil the lineup immediately and allow the members who weren’t selected to mass-graduate with dignity and pride… and bitterness. In which case, it could be the most traumatic concert ever for iDOL Street fans. Since half of my favorite members are complete wildcards, this could get brutal. One of my favorites, Riko, already graduated last week, and she was the best vocalist in Street-sei. If you are going to watch, this is my advice: Prepare for the unexpected and assume that anything that can go wrong, will go wrong. [Cool, those cliches were very helpful.] And don’t forget to buckle up, because it’s going to be a hell of a ride. [You really like buckles, don’t you?] Not as much as I like helmets.

I’ve mentioned my favorite Steet-sei members before, but since these rankings are continually changing based on integral factors like kawaiiness, genkiness, cup size, talent, three sizes, and “overall” kawaiiness, I’m going to allow one final ranking to last all of eternity… or until I get bored of idols and I delete this blog.

My picks for the Fourth Group

If the above six girls are in the next group, I promise to stop complaining about pointless stuff like “Idol skirts aren’t short enough!” and “Did my oshimen recently gain a pound?” Everyone is sick of it!


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