Why do Chubbiness T-shirts only come in two sizes, XL and XXL? And why haven’t my Chubbiness body pillows arrived yet? I ordered them three weeks ago!

7 Feb

The other day I was talking to my editor Wigglesworth Crumplebottom and he was like, “Where the f-junk are the new Chubbiness articles?” And I was like, “Uh… Chubbiness articles take a long time to write. Have you seen how big they are??”

He’s right though, I have been slacking–especially on my Chubbiness fanfics. But if everything goes according to keikaku, the following articles should go up this week:

  • Chubbinomics: Fad or Long-term Solution to All of Japan’s Problems?
  • Parent’s Take: Why the hell are kids saying “Let’s get Chubbified!”
  • Chubbiness: Great Group or Greatest Group?
  • Chubbiness Editorial: How Chubby is Too Chubby?
  • Exclusive Report: The Good, The Bad, and The Chubby. The Truth About Chubbiness, Their Fans, and the Idol Industry.
  • Reader feedback: Where were you when you became a Chubbiness fanatic? And more importantly, what were you eating?

Actually that’s all a lie. I’m supposed to be finishing the recap of my Japan trip… but after working on it for two days I realized that it was long, boring, and pointless. Which is weird because the trip was short, amazing, and almost perfect. [Perfect? Didn’t you get lost in Shinjuku on the way to a predia concert and had to take a taxi even though the venue was less than half a km away?] I wrote “almost.

Instead of improving the recap, I found myself browsing my old photobucket account and stumbled across the memes I made back when I was a bigger dork than I am now. So in place of a recap, I’m introducing a new feature: 

Once Upon a Time I was an AKB Fan

And Once Upon a Time I was also a PASSPO Fan

And in a box buried deep in my closet:

passtuffx[At least you learned from your mistakes.]
Yes. At least I learned.

IMG_4179

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9 Responses to “Why do Chubbiness T-shirts only come in two sizes, XL and XXL? And why haven’t my Chubbiness body pillows arrived yet? I ordered them three weeks ago!”

  1. wattstax17 2015/02/08 at 2:24 am #

    Your post is a lame excuse for skipping your trip report :P Just displaying pictures that makes you look like a devotion-less group hopper. *whistle* And where is your Runapyon/Doll Elements treasure chest? Hiding it for the fear of robbery?
    Though I enjoyed your Chubbiness ramblings. Too bad you can’t buy their merchandise in Japan directly, as it would exceed your luggage’s weight limit…
    On a more serious note, if there is room here on this blog, none of their members are really that chubby to begin with, despite some of them having rounder faces. Watched one of their videos and I saw quite a few members even looking like regular idols (the yellow and green one for example). No sign of fat. And it makes me realise that I prefer the skinny type. Some of the girls look normal weighted (the blue ones) for western standards, but those repell me – I got indoctrinated by Japan’s beauty standards! Anyway the group is more or less advertising a different type but with it’s typical skinny idol members obviously still want to attract the average idol fan.
    But can you imagine a fat sweaty wota wearing a fan shirt that says “Chubby” on it? It makes me lol.

  2. A wise man once told me to never get into the habit of buying things… haha hi ;_;

    • Shaun 2015/02/10 at 3:09 am #

      I agree. And that wise man may have been my grandpa. He’s been missing for several days. I actually have several cds in my Amazon.jp shopping cart that I’m trying not to buy. But my hand keeps hovering over the checkout button and shaking like a cocaine addict.

      And Tobi thanks. I needed that kick in the balls to finish my recap :D

      • GRANDPA S, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

        I nearly bought a Weekly Playboy magazine recently. Nearly. I’m sure your Amazon JP cart isn’t as bad as the WPB. I just wanted it for one non-nude photoshoot. :'(

        P.S. I can’t tell if you’re genuinely a Chubbiness fan or not. I’ve noticed a trend in “fat” groups debuting recently, or maybe it’s not really a trend when I can think of… two? Chubbiness and Pottya.

        P.P.S I sent you some direct messages on twitter!

  3. Shaun 2015/02/11 at 12:29 pm #

    I like to name drop Chubbiness because they eternally amuse me, but I don’t follow them. And wow @ Pottya. I was not prepared for that link, super lol.

    And replied :)

  4. wattstax17 2015/02/16 at 5:08 am #

    OH MY GOD! I clicked the Pottya link. Still in shock! I NEVER EVER want to see such images again…

  5. Denny Sinnoh 2015/02/26 at 5:59 am #

    Does the article somewhere state why you are no longer an AKB fan. Please explain yourself. — Denny

    • Shaun 2015/02/26 at 10:21 pm #

      This post was a completely random result of coming across the AKB48 memes I used to post at nihongogo (and being able to get more mileage out of them, hehe). But to give some background, I was an AKB fan from “Skirt Hirari” through “Iwake Maybe” (which was 2006 to 2009). Long story short I simply lost interest. Specific reasons why I lost interest: (1) SDN48 was formed and my favorite member Yukari Sato transferred so I immediately started following them, (2) the introduction of gimmicks like senbatsu elections and the janken tournament was a massive turnoff, and (3) the explosion of other idol groups. When I stumbled across AKB the idol scene was literally four groups. Four years later there were more than 200. There is so much more variety now than when AKB was formed that I’ve found groups that are a lot more compatible with my interests.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Getting lost with Predia (I wish) | PASSPO☆ and beyond !!! - 2015/02/08

    […] And even this proved difficult as understandably all taxi drivers refused to drive him. Read his blog note about this if you don’t believe me. But he arrived in time, we could exchange our various […]

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