I may have discovered something that no one was ever supposed to find out about.

18 Jul

tif 2014 banner v2The Tokyo Idol Festival 2014 timetable was revealed today *thunderous applesauce.* The first thing I did was make sure GEM was performing at least ten times. The second thing I did was double check that Mano Erina was coming out of retirement for one final performance – while wearing a bikini. After verifying that neither of those things are happening, I noticed something extremely strange, mystifying, perplexing, and strange. There is an empty time-slot from 12:35-13:10 at the main stage. Could there be one final super top-secret group?! Perhaps an idol group… of girls… who are super?
tif14x
Edit: Turns out the empty timeslot for the main stage is going to be determined by a vote during Day 1. That was anti-climatic.

My TIF Schedule
I created my own schedule because the one at the website is a steaming pile of poo (radioactive zombie poo to be precise). I can’t believe they uploaded a time-table that isn’t synchronized, rendering it completely unusable. (edit: they updated the timetable and made it a little more useful, but in order to fix it they need to completely overhaul it.) 

GEM and PASSPO are only performing on Sunday so I’m planning my schedule around day 2. For groups that are attending both days that I can’t watch on Day 2, I can prioritize for day 1. If that didn’t make sense, just nod and pretend it did.
Day 2
TIF2014 d2 x1
Day 1
TIF2014 d1 x1
TIF strategy
Planning the perfect TIF schedule is veeerrrrry tricky. You can’t just randomly point at the schedule and circle shit with a crayon. First of all you have to consider the venue (is it outdoors or indoors?), because if it’s outdoors between 12PM-3PM, you have to ask yourself whether you’re fine sacrificing irreversible sun damage for idols who may or may not even like you. I plan on looking 30 when I’m 100, so I’d like to avoid as many outdoor stages as possible. Unfortunately, the geniuses at the TIF Institute of IDOLology thought it would be cool to add more outdoor stages and schedule all the popular groups at peak sun damage hours (technically the main stage is covered, but only if you are in the hanger part. I have a feeling the venue will be too small and there will be a lot of people standing in the sun – assuming they allow that option). The entire world is disintegrating because of global warming and zombie dinosaurs eating all the rainforests, so the TIF bureaucrats should have known that they needed less outdoor stages, not more. Or at least more indoor stages. Like a top-secret “Secret Court II” in the food court at DiverCity. That stage would not only be cool (because it’s indoors), but it would be also be hot (because of all the cooking). That was my dream at least.

The second thing you have to consider when planning your “perfect” schedule are the hundreds of other “miscellaneous” groups you’ve never heard of who will likely appear either before or after your favorite groups. Cherry picking just your favorites doesn’t work because there will be times when your preferred groups are performing at the same time at different stages. These moments are unavoidable, but one thing that annoys me is when groups from the same agency are pitted against each other, like Platinum (PASSPO/predia/palet) or iDOL Street (SUPER GiRLS/Cheeky Parade/GEM/Street-sei) performing simultaneously at competing stages. This has happened in the past, and it’s happening again this year (GEM’s main stage performance is at the same times as Street-sei’s stage). Last year GEM’s handshake event took place during a SUPER GiRLS performance, which prevented me from sharing my GEM jokes with Rana and asking Yuki to spell “S-U-P-E-R G-i-R-L-S.” Even notoriously fragmented fandoms like Platinum and i-Street still have a lot of cross-over fans and unless the organizers are complete morons they should be aware of that and not schedule these groups at the same time.

Template to make your own TIF schedule
Note: not all groups are included

Day 1

Day 2

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