Keepin’ it GEM™

4 Jan

Keepin’ it GEM™ is this years version of That’s so GEM™ which is no longer cool.
35If you haven’t subscribed to my GEM newsletter you may have been unaware that GEM’s debut single We’re GEM! was released this week.

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The music video was uploaded last month and the GEMbers have been keeping track of total views. It’s currently at 70k and they are hoping it breaks 100k. Something special is planned if it reaches that milestone.

Prior to watching the video I had a few ideas of my own.

I thought it would be so GEM if they wore color-coded bikinis and swam in pools filled with their gem. Like Scrooge McDuck swimming in gold coins in Duck Tales.

Money-Swim-uncle-scrooge-mcduck-35997716-350-259Producer: The concept is pretty simple. We’ll fill ten massive warehouses with color-coded gems. You’ll dance, frolic, and swim in the gems. While wearing bikinis of course. I happened to bring samples. Please change into them now.
*Sara is given a super-cute bikini made with material that dissolves in water and Yuki is given an over-sized XXL bikini that isn’t even color-coded*
Maya: Yada.
5*everyone leaves thinking the producer is a pervert*
Producer: It wasn’t my idea! *cries*

*the next day*
Producer: *talking to Saori* They didn’t like your idea.

Idea #2: Star Trek the Next Gemeration
A science-fiction style video could have explained the birth of the GEMbers. In an alternate dimension there are ten perfect gems, each much larger than normal. They are located on ten different planets spread all across the universe. Lightning happens to strike each planet simultaneously causing the gems to crack open. Babies crawl out of the gems and they are covered in color-coded embryonic slime. The babies rapidly grow and become the GEM members. Because they were born inside gems they have GEM super-powers. Maya’s super power is being center. Sara’s super power is being super cute. Rana’s is also being super cute. Actually a lot of them have the same super power. Yuki’s super power is being color-coded purple.

The music video would be two hours long.

Instead this is what happened
Producer: *talking to CG guy* We don’t have a lot of money, but I need you to make a backdrop that has a lot of gems, is cute, and has gems. And remember it has to be cute.
*2 weeks later *
CG guy: I finished. You may want to review it first though.
Producer: No I trust you. I mean how could you mess it up? We just needed a backdrop that was cute and had gems.
CG guy: I really think you should look at it. I *may have* been high when I created it. Replace “may have” with “definitely” and “high” with “completely overdosed.” I’m surprised I am still alive.

How else can you explain this?
The CG guy was clearly high. The only question is which drug?

1Probably cocaine.
3Definitely cocaine.

And then things got weirder
We’ll have Maya’s gem eat all the other gems and become a giant heart GEM!!
Assistant: That sounds expensive. Can we afford that?
Accountant: We can definitely afford that!!
14Maya: Cool. My GEM ate all the other gems and turned into a giant heart gem.
15Sara: Maya’s GEM is so beautiful… Even though it ate all of our gems.

16The first time I saw the video I thought the opening scene was a little terrifying. Weird colors, weird shapes, and too many layers of weird CG. But the more I watched it the more I liked it. I really appreciated how each girl got equal screen time. Check out the Random screen-shot generator:
17181922212026252324“Lunchtime” starring Maya and Yuki 

Here you go Yuki. My last piece of meat.

Here you go Yuki. My last piece of meat.

Hurry! I'm really hungry!

Hurry! I’m hungry!

Last piece of meat that belongs to Maya is the best!

Why is this taking so long? Feed me. 

Last piece of meat that belongs to Maya is the best!

“Operation Meat Transfer” is a success!

Operation meat transfer is a success.

Mmmm… last piece of meat that belongs to Maya is the best!

You actually ate it? My precious last piece of meat?

You actually ate it? My precious last piece of meat?

I'm taking it back. Don't you know who I am? I'm Maya!

Give it back. Don’t you know who I am? I’m center!

I'm just kidding. You can have it. This is actually from Maho's lunch.

I’m just kidding. You can have it. This is actually Maho’s lunch.

“Am I in this Scene?” starring Maya, Yuki, and Natchi 

Maya: Am I in this scene?

Maya: Am I in this scene?

"Oh there I am"

“Oh there I am.”



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